Shine The Light

Hello readers, it’s been too long since I have written a post.  Here’s hoping you are navigating the choppy waters of this complex ocean, you’ve sailed through summer, floated through school start-up and are embracing the season of gratitude and thankfulness in spite of the challenges.

Recently, I had the good fortune to cross off an item from my bucket list.  I was given the honour of speaking on camera about my journey as a parent of a beautiful young fellow who teaches me more about what is truly important in life with each passing day.  My lovely little bunny boy, it was finally time to speak out and share with the world, our complex journey navigating the waters of mental health challenges.  After years of feeling so isolated, alone in the vast, unforgiving , stormy waters, a life preserver was finally thrown out to us.  I have struggled, cried, and wailed with grief too painful to articulate in any other way. I have faced days so intense words can’t even fully describe them.  I have worried about losing my beautiful boy, watching helplessly as he fought battles I couldn’t ever fully comprehend.  I have also struggled with my own foolish fears of others’ perceptions for far too long.  Throughout those darkest days, I clung to the belief that love would help me succeed in fighting for his life…love in its purest form would give me the strength to fight and win this battle.  After such a long fight, it was time.   At long last, it was time to celebrate hard won victories.   It was finally time to, as my mentor says “stand in your own truth” and to not waste any more time worrying about what others may think.

We represent the 1 in 4 families in our country who have a loved one bravely coping each day with mental health challenges.  This is my truth, our truth, and it has taken me years to freely shout it to the world without fear of judgement.  I finally recognized an opportunity to turn pain into purpose…to educate others in hopes of creating a more compassionate awareness in my community and also throughout an even larger audience.

After years of struggling, actually so often feeling like I was barely keeping my head above water while putting on a ‘brave face’  each day, it was time to stop trying so hard to be strong.  Having the courage to admit I needed help from specialists was absolutely the key to saving not only my child’s life, but most likely my own as well.  Being able to ask for and finally get clarity on the complex nature of his  diagnoses, and to finally be given more effective treatment options was like the lighthouse illuminating a stormy sea.

Being able to thank those who have been an integral part in allowing my lovely little boy a real chance at a happier, less complex, more carefree life is an unexpected, but much appreciated opportunity.  Back to the crossing  something really big off the bucket list.  Being chosen to speak in a public way, to finally turn the pain of those dark days into something so positive has been quite a transformative experience.   Since I am absolutely  a life-long Elton John fan, I have to borrow one of his lyrics.   “Shine the light, shine the light, why don’t you shine the light”..  Well with the help of an extremely compassionate, kind team of storytellers..I quite literally did just that.  I can only hope my story will also shine a light of hope for other parents who might be in need of hope just as I was.

With deepest thanks to the kind crew who believed my family’s story needed to be told.